can't forget

The bathroom is steamy with the thickness of a dense fog and because of the dismal weather outside, it is dark inside as well. I am drying my body in the ethereal feeling of this post hot water running room and deep in my thoughts...
suddenly I am lying back in the muted to almost pitch black light of his room. I am naked on his bed and he is on top of me, also naked. It is that feeling of being lost because of absolute presence in the moment. I am not worrying about what's next, just living each moment with our bodies feeling the way along each other. And suddenly the motion of the moment comes to a halt as he stops above me and utters in the most pure intentioned, uninhibited way--"I want to have sex with you..."
My face contorts in a need to sob. I am no longer in that then but in this now--of this bathroom so thick with steam and the smells of shampoo and a naked body--just as I was beneath him that night. How much that moment means to me. How much that flash of memory brought me back to his body over my body and the scents of his boyness and the feeling of safety in exposure of myself. 
I came the closest to having sex with him right then--the question--"do you have a condom," was so heavy on my tongue, it couldn't escape. My body was so ready...but I didn't. And now, five weeks later I can't help but wonder what my feeling would be in this now if that then had gone a different way.