Where do you start? How do you explain anything when your heart is this open? There is no greater honor, no more profound experience of being alive than to witness another's heart in its entirety.
He is sitting next to me on this couch in the back of a dimly lit bar. Ice clinks in our glasses and the taste of vodka is pungent and of this moment. He is raw, vulnerable and sitting beside me with the most open heart.
I am engulfed in the loose fabric of his pants and sweatshirt I borrowed. It seems fitting to live this moment exemplifying the irrelevance of my appearance. Sometimes the absolute only thing that matters is to let go of the role you play each and everyday and be bare as a human being. To be enough in this way, with no ribbons or garnishes, but in the truest sense of yourself, this is what you need to witness another. All else falls away, so let it.
Three days ago when he told me what happened i felt hopeless. Three days ago i couldn't remember why we all do this. Why we allow ourselves to fall for another, why we allow our vulnerability to surface when loud voices somewhere deep and away scream not to. But now the thought resonates so deeply within my heart--how could we ever pass this up? I look at him and I realize how worth it all of this is. In this very moment, with his heart heavy and scrounging for hope, he is the best he's ever been. He's never been stronger or more alive because he is in it so entirely. He embraces the extreme heartache and sadness in a way that greets the fear which resides there and moves through it.
Someone can betray another but it doesn't have to be the end. There is so much opportunity in our worst moments, when you've failed at epic proportions I want to know if you can make the biggest mistake and stay with yourself. If you can love yourself even more because you realize how your vulnerability is the most beautiful thing about you.
No comments:
Post a Comment